Going through a bad breakup can make you feel like there's not much point to even trying anymore...like no matter what you do life is going to suck and suck hard. Well, sure it does have that potential, but in all truth life is what you make it. Even if it seems like there's no hope in pulling your life back together and getting your ex back, there are ways to accomplish that goal. It may even be easier than you expect!
Rebuilding a crumbled relationship is a very involved and difficult process, but if you organize it into three basic stages you'll find that it's simpler than it may at first appear. Dividing the ultimate goal into separate parts helps a lot with overcoming the feeling of impossibility and gives you some focus and direction. Here's a 3-step plan that can make the seemingly insurmountable task of getting your ex back a lot more manageable.
Stage One - Stop it all, right now. This is a hard one to catch, and a little tough to believe it's actually a step forward, but while your first impulse directly after a breakup is usually to try to pay as much attention as possible to your ex in an effort to prove your worthiness and dedication...the better move is to just let it go and take a few steps back. Cut contact entirely if possible...not forever, just for a month.
Taking this time off not only gives you both time to cool down and figure out just where you stand when the dust settles, but it also provides a valuable opportunity: the chance for your ex to MISS you. If you're right up in his face the whole time, you'll never have left...so how can he miss the great things about your relationship? Sometimes all that's needed is some time to think, and things can move pretty smoothly from there.
Stage Two - Once your month has passed and you've had some time to identify your feelings and worked out some of your personal issues, you can be safe in contacting your ex again. This shouldn't be something heavily emotional or anything, just a light phone call or email breaking the ice again. Keep things simple, and don't get into a bunch of relationship talk. It's not unreasonable that you'd be interested in how he's doing after a month's time, but he may still be resistant to talks of "you and him."
If your contact worked out well, you can probably be fine with continuing to contact him. This part is a bit like meeting him for the first time, but you need to take it relatively slow in comparison to a fiery new romance that sweeps you both off your feet. Feel him out, judge how he's feeling about you, and respond accordingly. Work back up to the "friendlier" things...if you play your cards right you can get him back with not a whole lot more than some patience and willingness to adapt to what he needs.
Stage Three - If all goes well and you two agree on giving it another shot, don't forget that things can go right back to the crapper if you start to fold and repeat the behaviors that ruined the first try at being together. Keep any changes you made to accommodate the needs of your ex, because if you let your relationship become the first one it's almost sure to go the way of the first one. Maintenance is not optional.
Never forget that this method is all about taking care of yourself and giving your ex the fuel he needs to come to the desire to get back together on his own. Never get too aggressive, as it could ruin all you've worked so hard for by alienating him and pushing him away. Take it easy and don't forget to hold up your end of things, and you should have a lot easier time of getting him back....this time, hopefully for good.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Erik_Michaels
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